So many times we tend to deny the fact that money and love work hand in hand. Both need each other to function properly
Money, Sex and Marriage
(CNN Money)
Money, Sex and Marriage
(CNN Money)
Over the years, from experience and stories I
hear from friends I have come to understand the place of money, love
and sex in a marriage.
Marriage is not a
child’s play, having to live with someone who has a different upbringing
from yours; you will need a lot of patience.
Money; money
they say answers all things. To even pay for a woman’s bride prize, you
need money; hence money is needed to continue taking care of her. An
igbo adage says, ”aku na esi obi ike—meaning wealth or
money gives confidence. A man with money is confident and a woman her
husband showers with money is confident too. Like my brothers’ friend
will always tell his girlfriends, “As you can see I don’t have money now
but I’m a medical personnel with a great future.” Well, I wonder if the
girl will be eating great future and medical personnel for the
meantime. Money is important in marriage at least to feed the family and
provide the basic needs of life.
LOVE; The
man is the head of the family, breadwinner, provider, protector etc,
like we were taught in primary schools. In the church and in the
scriptures, the man is to love his wife, just as Christ loved the church
and gave his life for her. The love a man is supposed to have for his
wife is compared to the love Christ has for us---UNCONDITIONAL, SACRIFICIAL, LOVE. The
woman is to reciprocate this love. A husband is to love his wife as
himself. A woman is to be loved because she is the weaker partner with a
more tender heart. A woman that is being loved well by her husband
won’t find it difficult submitting and respecting her husband. A loving
man easily commands and gets the respect of his wife.
Dear men if you love yourself, then you are under obligation to love your wife, as much as you love yourself.
Sex;
sex is a cement used to cement love. I doubt if a great marriage will
be possible without good sex. There is a difference between sex and love
making, any sexual relationship had outside marriage is sex, sexual
relationship within the walls of marriage is love making. Endeavour to
make love to your partner very well, as and when due. Any woman her
husband meets her sexual needs; it is easily seen on her face.
Submission and respect; while
it is the duty of a man to love his wife, a woman is to submit and
respect her husband. A respectful and submissive woman easily commands
and gets the love of her man. Respect is the greatest need of a man from
his wife.
There are things a man needs but can get outside if he so desires;
- Food. There are millions of restaurants’ that cooks good food out there and they are available according to ones pocket. Virtually every man can afford to eat out, even if it is local restaurant, “mama put”.
- Sex; sex workers are still existing, if he isn’t the faithful type, he can get himself any woman he wants. Sex workers are also available according to ones pocket. What of his co-workers that are waiting for any opportunity to sleep with him.
- Children; so many women are waiting to get pregnant for any man, so the man will marry them. And what about adopting children? So many women won’t mind having kids for a man provided the man will be dropping some cash.
Your
husband comes home to you for respect after being bossed around in the
office, being told what to do by parents; he depends only on you (his
wife) to get respect.
Since I started saying YES SIR
to everything my husband says, I noticed he changed a lot. When I asked
him, you don’t do this or that again, you have changed, he would reply,
‘I didn’t change, you did’.
Written by Faith Iloka, a mother of three, who loves her job as mother and a wife.
For
more of my articles visit www.thisdaymom.com. Don’t forget to subscribe
to our newsletter and be the first to know of offers and new articles.