Many confuse emotional intelligence (EQ) with having a strong personality and a high IQ.
Though there is no debate you do need both of them, they do not provide the certainty for a high emotional quotient. That's why many leaders might not have the greatest of personalities or the highest of IQs, but all of them have exhibited emotional intelligence.
As an entrepreneur, it’s a prerequisite that you have to show leadership skills. A study shows that people who have high emotional intelligence are better at harboring leadership skills. It’s true that some are born with high EQ, while some are not, but unlike personality or IQ, people can be trained to become emotionally intelligent.
The reason you need to have a high emotional intelligence is - when you are able to manage your emotions, you are in a better position to handle your employee’s feelings as well.
It makes you proactive in your approach and keeps you calm in the most difficult of situations, giving you a better control over handling rough terrains. Even if you don’t possess a high EQ, there are many hacks by which you can increase it.
To become an effective leader, here are six ways to boost your emotional intelligence as an entrepreneur:
1. Learn to respond, not react
Reactions are always made in a rush, while responses are always well thought off. As an entrepreneur, when you react, you allow your emotions to get the better of you. You make decisions haphazardly, which results in chaos and confusion.
Sundar Pichai, the CEO of Google, is a firm believer that responding to a situation is a better approach in solving problems. His Cockroach story talks about when a cockroach, landed up in a restaurant, sat on a lady. She panicked and started jumping here and there, creating chaos in the entire restaurant. Her fear was so infectious, everyone started panicking.
While trying to brush off the cockroach, it fell on the server. Surprisingly, he kept calm, noticed the cockroach’s movement, and then slowly picked it up and threw it out of the window. Because the server kept his cool, he was able to resolve the situation - he responded while the women reacted.
As an entrepreneur, you should not express your fears. If you panic, eventually the feelings will be shared by your employees, investors, and stakeholders. By having high emotional intelligence, you will be in a better position to solve issues, and stakeholders will have confidence in your ability to deliver.
2. Become more self aware
Before responding, you need to understand your emotions. When you are able to manage your feelings, you are in better control of your behavior and tendencies. Take a step back and analyze why do you feel the way you do and how can you keep it in check. The more analysis you do, the higher your EQ goes up.
When you have a good grip on your emotions, you have a very objective idea on your strengths and weaknesses. You are a realist, which is a plus point, especially when taking risks. Moreover, you are confident in asserting your point of view, since they come from a place of unbiased self-analysis.
Here are a few ways you can increase self-awareness, that will help you boost your EQ:
- Keep monitoring yourself, set aside few hours in the day to check-in on your present emotional state. Ask yourself a series of questions: What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this? What is allowing this to happen?
- Give your emotions a label, once you know how you feel, label these emotions. It helps to identify the elements which trigger these emotions. You are better prepared to handle sudden emotional bursts when you know the source for their happening.
- Be in the present, be always alert in understanding how you feel at a particular moment. The voices in the head can give you better insights and guidance in resolving the current problem at hand.
3. Ask for perspectives
A self-aware entrepreneur understands that perfection is a myth, it doesn’t exist. None of them want to be perfect, they just want to keep improving. They know that looking outwards is as important as looking inwards, that’s why they persist on asking for feedback from their employees, peers, friends, and family. It shows them the gap that exists between what they think and what others think of them.
By taking personal feedback, you are able to understand yourself and others in a much better way. Your emotions are immune to negative criticism, thereby having a more objective response to harsh opinions. This cool temperament flows into your business practices as well, especially when handling negative reviews.
When your business receives negative customer feedback, you, and your team, are in a better position to handle such situations. Here is an example of Jet Blue, an American airline company, which showcased high emotional intelligence, even after getting a negative remark.
4. Take a Step Back when Necessary
If emotionally intelligent entrepreneurs are good at handling a bad situation, they are more than capable of avoiding one as well. Sometimes you have to take a step back if you don’t see any improvement. When you know that things are not perfect, you don’t nag on why things aren’t the way you want them to be. You are more composed, and realize that this is probably a fight for another day.
As an entrepreneur, it's very important that you know when to take a step back. By incorporating this practice, you can have active discussions and analyze and fill up the void that you might have skipped in the rush.
If you want to expand your entrepreneurial vision, it’s okay to take a step back. A leader with a high EQ would see it as an opportunity for something better, a low EQ person might see it as a waste of time. Thus, being emotionally intelligent makes you patient and flexible in your approach.
5. Say No
Being flexible is a luxury you can’t always afford to command, there are strategies, investments, plans, people, to whom at some point, you might have to say ‘No’. Entrepreneurs with high emotional intelligence will never mince their words, if their schedule does not allow for a new commitment, they will express their ‘Nay’ very clearly.
If you keep on saying ‘Yes’ to anything and everything, you might end with a lot more on your plate than you can chew. When you fall short of your goals, it will only make you look incompetent. When you decline a project, you are showing respect to your current commitments, you are seen as an entrepreneur with integrity.
If you are a person who is not used to saying ‘No’, here are few tips to get you going:
- Don’t delay to communicate your decision, avoid delaying in breaking the news to the person. Do not keep them hanging for days or weeks and then inform that you are sorry.
- Explain your reasons, but be brief. Do not narrate a saga on why you can't do it, make it quick and short.
- Do not mix up your words, don’t try to be diplomatic, give a straight answer. Avoid phrases like: maybe, let’s see, I am not sure. Give it to them straight and clear.
6. Practice the art of empathy
With all the points considered, this one is the fastest way to boost your emotional intelligence. When you put yourself in someone else’s shoes, you are able to understand them in a far better way. That's why empathy is the cornerstone of your emotional intelligence.
One of the best ways to inculcate the art of empathy is by listening. To understand what your employees or other stakeholders are going through, lend them your ears. Listen and try to understand problems from their perspective. This also helps you grasp the emotional state of your speakers.
Apart from this, here are some other ways you can cultivate empathy for others:
- Help others, it keeps you happy and increases your life satisfaction. Try volunteering, it increases empathy in you, thereby increasing your EQ as well.
- Compassion meditation, unlike general meditation, this one works specifically on cultivating empathy. A study shows that this kind of meditation helps in rewiring our minds to be more empathetic by focusing our thoughts on wishing well-being for others.
- Be curious, always be interested in knowing the ‘Why’. It encourages you to learn more about others and their perspectives. When you are introduced to varying points of opinions, you are more empathetic to others.
Winding up
As an entrepreneur, you will be faced with many challenges: ethical dilemmas, office politics, employee resentment, peer competition, and so forth and so on. Some issues may require the use of strong personality, some may require a superior IQ, but none can be resolved if you lack emotional intelligence.
As an entrepreneur, you will be faced with many challenges: ethical dilemmas, office politics, employee resentment, peer competition, and so forth and so on. Some issues may require the use of strong personality, some may require a superior IQ, but none can be resolved if you lack emotional intelligence.
Article written by Niraj
Niraj is the founder of Hiver (hiverhq.com), an app that turns Gmail into a powerful customer support and collaboration tool. When not working at Hiver on programming or customer support, Niraj likes to play guitar. Niraj can be reached on Twitter @nirajr.